Rain. tak tak tak… I used to listen to the raindrops falling from the sky, late at night, while lying in my bed alone. The individual drops would tap against my windows, etching out their short-lived existence in a beautiful brilliance only nature could muster. in between the silent drone of languid dreaming and wakefulness, I would catch a glimpse of their paths as they slid through trails of reason and fantasy.

So comfortable they were, knowing that their lives were meant for something greater. They were assuredly valued beyond measure, with fairly simple choices that lay before them–at least that’s what we’d like to think. But there is always that stubborn one. The one which continues its search for the meaning behind its existence, zigging and zagging across the pane, determined to create its own footprints in an already chaotic land.

Lying in my bed alone, frozen by the thought that with so many possibilities, it might never find what it was looking for, even if it knew where to start. Either that, or it would simply splash out–dying and melding back into the pool, never knowing what its true purpose was.

tak tak tak…I try not to listen anymore.

The humidity in the air felt like rain, but not a cloud was in sight. The mood was gloomy, but it wasn’t supposed to be that way. Standing on the northbound platform with the wind whipping through his hair, he held her close. The smell of a fresh summer breeze, with a hint of vanilla wafted up to his nose and he inhaled deeply, while hugging her tight.

As the train approached, they stood there unmoving, as if their actions could make time stand still. That bubble of silence—where nothing changed—was broken when he heard her move and a sigh escaped her lips. They had known this day would be coming. They had known it all along.

She looked up at him with those soft brown, doe-like eyes. She smiled a small, sweet smile and gazed at him with compassion. It was the same smile that he loved so much. Closing his own eyes, he captured that look in his memory for all time. Leaning his forehead against hers, he took another deep breath and held it. He imagined that if he breathed, she would float away, never to return.

She finally broke away from his hold. Picking up her bag, she shouldered it and he bent to pick up her other ones. She turned and walked toward the train as he followed close behind. The doors waited there, open and inviting. Turning toward him, she grabbed a bag and he held onto her arm. His eyes spoke volumes about the thoughts and feelings that were churning inside his mind. Her eyes misted over and she closed them, quelling the tears that were rising.

She leaned toward him and kissed him. Words that could barely be heard fell from her lips. “No tears. I don’t want to see any tears. Be strong for me.” He nodded and kissed her mouth one last time. A slow, deep kiss that conveyed his love, affection and appreciation for being given the chance to love and be loved.

She picked up the other bag and boarded. Turning around, she looked at him one last time, gazing at him as the doors slowly slid shut in front of her. Before they closed all the way, he shouted,”I will always love you…that I promise.” She gave him a small wave and mouthed,”I love you too…”

As the train pulled away, he started following the train. A walk broke into a run and finally slowed to a stop, knowing that he could not possibly catch a moving train. Looking up at the sky, a plethora of thoughts flew through his mind. As quickly as they had filled his mind, they were gone. A comforting feeling enveloped him and all at once he knew.

He watched his future roll away down the tracks, knowing that one day it would roll back toward him.

When that time came, he would be ready.

As the rain fell out of the sky, I sat and tinkered with the brand new computer components splayed before me. Working at a steady pace, I was supposed to be building a new machine for a client. Wrapped up in the comfort of something familiar, yet new; I almost failed to notice the phone on the ground next to me, silently humming with the vibrations of an incoming call. Jarring me from my focused concentration, I looked at it without even registering the fact that someone was trying to reach me. Oh yeah, that’s what phones are for right?

Wiping my hand against my jeans, I picked up the still vibrating phone and flipped it open with a slight flick of the my thumb and wrist. It was a well practiced motion that was used so often that it barely registered in my senses. Not even with a glance at the caller ID, I shouldered the phone and looked back down into the computer case, totally engrossed in the work at hand.

“Hello?”

“Hey man, long time no talk…how’re you doing?”

The voice that came through the receiver from the other side, sent my mind drifting backward through time.

He seemed a bit out of place. Looking around with curious eyes and a small slip of paper in his hand, he gazed up at the glossy white numbers that were painted onto each door that lined the hallway. I had seen him around before. He played football and we had practiced together as teammates but I barely knew who he was. I went to say hi and thought that I’d see if he needed any help finding what he was looking for.

That one decision I made that fateful day was how it all started.

It has been almost a year now since he was last near enough in distance to go hang out with. In the time that we’ve known each other, we’ve gone through a great many things. Some of these situations have been good, some have been bad and some situations were so ridiculously funny that it would be a lie to say that I didn’t hurt myself laughing. But none of these events in my life would have felt the same if I hadn’t known him.

The ropes that tie our friendship together has crossed a great many borders and spanned distances that some people have a hard time understanding. The boundaries and barriers that we have crossed are difficult for people to overcome as we all grow up, mature and grow apart. The three and a half years that I spent on the east coast didn’t diminish the strength of our connection. It only tested the bonds that held us together. Our personalities clash, and our backgrounds are so different that if you were to look at us, you’d see night and day. Guess which one I am?

We’ve seen each other at our worst moments and been there for each other when we triumphed over our own personal obstacles. When my family fell apart he was around to keep me sane. When his family fell apart some years later, I was there as well. Our brotherhood has lasted through girlfriends, injuries and even some major mistakes that cost us dearly. To see another person at his/her lowest point and still be there is something truly special. I will always remember the crazy things that we did. All the times where we helped cover up for each other’s mistakes and always watched the other guy’s back in a fight. The memories that were created when we were together, could span several lifetimes.

A dozen years later, as we talk over a distance of 2800+ miles that separates the two of us, its as if nothing has changed. We pick up where we left off and continue on in our steadfast friendship with each other. He bought a house and now lives in Florida with his girlfriend, while I still live in the Bay Area, the area that we grew up in. The time and distance that sits between us only confirms that the moors that attach us are strong enough to withstand anything.

The various events in our lives not only makes us the best of friends, but it makes us family. That’s what we are. We’re family.

The angry wails could be heard resonating in the still night air. The short, shallow breaths that floated from his lips, in little tendrils of frosted steam, could be seen rising skyward in the cool wash of moonlight. Animalistic cries filled the sky, hammering away at his consciousness, wearing down his mind’s psychological barriers.

Glancing quickly left and then right, he ducked into the blackness of a large oak tree and waited. Waiting for something that he hoped would never come. What he felt wasn’t natural, but neither was the situation he was in at the moment. He couldn’t shake this feeling of unease.

Nighttime had come hours ago, and the bright full moon had risen up into the deep velvet darkness that covered the earth in its shadow. He had been caught outside unawares when night fell, but as time wore on, he realized that there was good reason to be indoors when daylight waned. Not even the pitch black of night could hide this eerie sensation that crawled all over him. His breathing quickened as he tried to assess the situation that lay before him. Looking about, he knew that he was in a very precarious position. No one dared wander out into the night under these circumstances. And he was out here against his better judgment.

He gazed up into the sky, marveling at the tiny twinkles that signaled that there was indeed life out there, somewhere. He knew that some day someone might find something out there. He just hoped that he was around when that happened.

The ghost-like orb hung in the sky, with a misty black backdrop to contrast the stark white glow emanating from a power source unknown. It beckoned to him and pulled at him relentlessly. He wondered if there was something about the power of the moon that made people wish and wonder. Was there something magical about it that hadn’t yet been discovered? Maybe one day, he would be the one who unlocked the secrets of the mystic moon.

A scream pierced his reverie and the silent of night. It was almost indiscernible, but he understood at once what it meant. Sighing inwardly, he slowly trudged to the side of the house, opened up the gate and went through it.

Mom was yelling at him again. He had forgotten to take out the trash.

It had been years. Every single summer for the past half-dozen years, he had been coming to this place. This tranquil place, set deep into the forested foothills of the Sierra Nevada. The place was a pond, not big enough to be called a lake, but it held still water that was continually fed by the tributaries branching off of the Yuba River nearby.

The area was a peaceful spot, still untouched by the age of technology and steel. Fields of wild grass and green pastures still covered the landscape everywhere you looked. The trees that towered overhead, had grown tall without any additional help from the world of man. Here, nature still remained vibrant and strong.

It was early morning. The sun had just peeked above the hills, casting a warm, orange glow over the body of water he now faced. Clouds of early morning steam rose from the calm still waters, evaporating like ghosts chased away by the morning sunlight. The fish and frogs had already taken their leave, scrambling deeper into the darker areas that surrounded the pond.

He stood there with the sun upon his bare back, gazing at the outline that his shadow formed on the surface of the pond. Stretching his arms up into the sky, he took a deep cleansing breath and dove into the calm, cool waters below. As soon as his whole body had submerged, he opened up his eyes to see a small fish hurriedly flash away into the deeper, murkier depths of the pond. Looking around, he noticed the water’s slightly green hue caused by the algae that hung there, suspended in the water.

Cupping his hands, he gave a long, strong pull as he stayed under the surface and let the momentum carry him farther from the small pier he had dove from. The water parted before his streamlined form, barely causing a ripple on the surface. He was totally content in his solitude for the time being, although his oxygen supply would run out soon enough.

Another long pull, and the accompanying kick from his legs propelled him further from shore and closer to the center of the pond. He wondered how long he could last, holding his breath and depriving himself of air. As a child, he was able to hold his breath for over 3 minutes. By now he was able to surpass the 4 minute mark, but that was with little exertion. He wondered how he would do now.

Bending at the waist, he dove deeper still. Flipping onto his back he marveled at the sunlight filtering through the water, like a cascade of mirror pieces falling from above. He recall the long, lazy days where he’d hide underwater and sneak up upon his unsuspecting friends that had come along on these trips. Those were the days of unbridled joy and carefree happiness. When life was slow and much easier to understand.

He missed those days, lounging in the sun. Days where the only thing they had to think about was what they were going to eat for lunch and dinner. All the time in between was spent frolicking in the outdoors and simply enjoying what life had to offer.

Feeling a slight tightness in his chest, he knew time had begun to run out. Things weren’t so simple anymore. Turning toward the surface, he kicked once and floated slowly toward the light. His face broke the surface and he slowly pulled for the other side.

Swimming slowly along, he wondered if he would ever be able to hold his breath that long ever again.

He slid into bed, after a long day that wore him down from the inside out. As he pulled the covers over his head, her smell rose from the comforter to greet him. It enveloped his body in a warm, familiar embrace, penetrating his nasal passages and awakening the old memories. The smell of freshly laundered linens mixed in with a touch of sweet vanilla, reminded him that he missed having her next to him as he slept.

Those thoughts dug themselves out of the cold ground of his entrenched soul. He remembered her softness, her kindness and her affections. The feel of her smooth silky skin against his back—as her arms encircled his waist and shoulders in a loving cradle—was something that he missed very much. They seemed to be able to ward off and drain away the negative energies that would do him harm.

Often at night, as he stayed up burning the midnight oil, he could still discern her essence roaming the room. The barely perceptible and delightful smell would linger in the air, comforting him as well as reminding him of a love that once was. As long as he remembered that in life, all things are possible, he would continue to live each day in the best way he knew how.

Laying there for a time—he found himself awash in the pool of vivid memories of years passed. He sat up and walked outside. The slight chill and morning dew met him with a smile, promising that the air would be crisp and the day beautiful. Looking east down the street, he knew that she wouldn’t be coming, but wanted to look upon the dawn of a new day. Staring at the rising sun, he would wait for the time to come when she would once again walk into his life.

Such was the passage of love. Timeless.