Confessions pt. 2
“Jess?” I called quietly.
Reaching out, I took her arm in my hand and slowly turned her around. What I saw was truly disheartening. Her lovely brown orbs were almost translucent with tears, as they welled up in her eyes. They had filled to the brim and threatened to spill down her now semi-rosy cheeks. Hugging herself in her arms, she looked at the ground, desperately trying to avoid my own curious eyes.
“What’s wrong? Hey, hey, why’re you starting to cry?” I questioned softly.
I didn’t know and I really had no idea what had happened at the time. Looking back upon that moment, I don’t think I would have been able to tell, even now with my age and experience. There was something wrong, but what was it? Did I cross a line? Did I say something that hurt her? I reflected on this, as I witnessed her tearing apart at the seams.
“What’s the matter?” I prodded.
“I’m so sorry!” she cried, bursting into tears.
“Hey, why the tears? There’s no reason to cry,” I tried to awkwardly reassure her.
“I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry,” she sobbed faintly.
Bewilderment was stamped on my face. I didn’t know what to do. My first reaction when a girl cried was to comfort her, calm her down and console her. When the tears stopped falling, then the talking could begin. There was no way one could understand a person when they’re trying to talk through loud sobbing. It always came out a jumbled mess.
Sniffling, battling her emotional tears, she looked up at me and took a deep breath.
For an instant, I felt like a commander on a sinking vessel, doomed to go down into the murky depths at sea. Totally powerless to stop the inevitable, but being a stubborn person, I held on. That dead weight suddenly wrapped a thick iron chain around my heart and tugged. The hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach floated up to fill the space in my chest, where my heart once was, and I knew that this couldn’t be good.
“I’m so sorry. I care about you a lot. You’re kind, sweet and good to me. You make me laugh and you’re always there when I need someone to talk to. I don’t know how to tell you this, but I like someone else.” her voice cracking with confusion and despair.
A long moment passed as I didn’t breathe, watching the pins fall through the air and drop, scattering as they hit the floor. Air refused to move around inside my chest, and I didn’t pay much attention to it either. I was trapped, suspended in crystalline-blue water, with eyes wide open and burning from the chlorine; everything moving by in slow motion.
A part of me wanted to ask her “Who?” and another part of me wanted to scream in arching pain. The conflict within, left me numb and lifeless. Not knowing what to do left me unable to say a word, seeking, searching for some stable surface to stand on.
I simply stared, mouth slightly agape, halted in mid-breath.
Part: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22.
