Confessions
“What is it?” she asked me innocently.
Looking into her dark-brown eyes, set into a face that was framed by straight, glistening locks of black hair; I noticed the round, child-like cuteness had started to fade. In place of it was the slender frame that would later define her as a beautiful woman. As the moment passed, I almost forgot why I had chased her down the two flights of stairs and into the warm late-autumn setting sunshine.
Hesitating, I had an involuntary gut-check and wondered if this was the most prudent course of action. Inside, my stomach churned and my lungs quivered with each short intake of breath. The possibility of rejection was always there, but I never thought about it before. This topsy-turvy, gut-wrenching feeling was something totally alien to me. Up until this point I was virtually fearless; some might even say that I was reckless with purpose.
So this is what fear felt like.
Taking a deep breath, I focused and exhaled, quelling the nervousness I felt inside. I shook the last waves of fear from my muscles and with an increasingly rapid clip, I spoke.
“You asked me about who I liked and I’ve been avoiding the question and simply not answering because it’s a loaded question, especially coming from you.”
Looking up at me expectantly, a small smirk played across her lips. She stayed quiet while I found my words.
“So I do like someone. She’s really cute, thoughtful, fun and sweet. She makes me laugh out loud and that’s not easy to do. There is something about her that makes my heart skip a beat, but yet calms me at the same time. I’d tell her, but sometimes it’s hard to tell what she’s thinking or feeling. I’m going to hate myself, if I don’t say it cause I’ll always wonder, but I know that I should just tell her.”
Putting her hand on my arm, she looked straight at me and said,”You should tell her. You’re funny, a really nice guy and you’re cute too. So who is it?”
“Jess, that girl is you.”
Stunned silence filled the air as the very last words left my dry mouth. Our eyes locked and it felt as if I went deaf. The world stopped spinning and the rushing sound of cars became a dull roar. Before my short monologue, I didn’t know if she already knew, but her expression told me all that I needed to know. This was a surprise that she wasn’t expecting.
She finally tore her eyes away from mine. Turning away from me, she hugged herself and sighed.
Part: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22.
