Last Phase
That last year of middle school started with a sharp clanging of the brass alarm bells, which had been my constant chaperones during the previous 2 years. But this time that familiar ring was a little bit duller and there was a pervasive bittersweet undertone that seemed to signify the beginning of an end of an era.
To everyone else’s ears, that sound indicated the end of a school day, but to me those bells told a different story. It was a tale of outward growth and the methodic end of my period as a child. I had just turned 13; I was now a teenager.
Soo-Min was gone but we still kept in touch. It was hard on both of us since we were more than 200 miles apart. The hardest part about it all was how I felt about this girl. Granted, we were barely into our teen years and had very little understanding about what love was all about, but we just knew how we felt for each other. I had only known her a little over a year, but there was such a strong emotional connection that I had never known before.
Our exchanges became less frequent as time rolled along. The schedules that bound our hands were increasing the gap that we knew was already there. We were both growing in many different ways and there was nothing we could do to change that fact. We just had to accept and understand that this was how life was meant to be.
We talked and wrote whenever we could, but it seemed strained. Neither of us had the financial means to sustain a relationship and we both knew it. I remember the gifts that I would get in the mail, gifts that she made, along with pictures whenever she took new ones, as if she was afraid that I’d forget her face.
I knew in my heart of hearts that I’d never be able to forget her and you know what?
I never have.
